FEELINGS....... BOO HISS

OK………. Warning, what your about to read is neither positive nor inspiring. It is raw feelings from the moment. I can not even guarantee it will make any sense. I am just feeling the need to “get it out”, so here I go…………… I am so mad at myself right now, so disappointed and frustrated that I can hardly stand myself. Then as I sit in my anger it only takes a few moments before I just become sad or more accurately scared. THEN…. Taking a deep breathe I realize, NO I am actually Mad, Sad and Scared all at once, greeeeeeeaaaaat!!!!!!!!!!

I am Mad at myself for numerous reasons…..

I am Sad that I am feeling lost and alone with decisions / choices to face where none appear good options….

I am Scared at what may come… the unknown has never been something I am good with…… So what do I do with all this…. Oh I know turn to my couch and tell it how I am feeling, yes that will make things better. And Why is it as soon as you open the door to even the slightest negativity, before you know it, the door is busted open with all the rest of the struggles you have been managing from day to day, but now in this moment, you are quickly reminded of so that you can add being overwhelmed to the list of fun feelings you are experiencing…. WOW such delight. None of this is probably near as awful as it feels but that little fact doesn’t matter when your feeling it. It is sort of like that saying “This too shall pass” …. Well sure it will, However while it is here…. It Sucks! It is amazing how easy it is to go to that “crazy” state of mind….. That circular thought process that just grows like a good whirlpool, getting bigger, crazier, building up speed …… Someone make it stop….. Toss me a life jacket….. Or better yet jump on in with me it is definitely a ride to remember! OK…. So that’s is it for now… Just felt the need to get that out of my head…. And let ya all know, Crazy loves crazy!