There are times in life when you don't even know what you are missing until you experience it for the first time. Especially things that you might believe are from days and times gone by, like our youth or childhood.
Recently I had a amazing experience that was such pure joy I didn't want the time to end. It was a little bitter sweet , mostly sweet. I want to share it because I think it may be one of those things many people take for granted and also something most do not consider when thinking about their friends and/or family members and what their lives are like as a obese person. I am not sure people realize how different a life can be when you are overweight. Many of life's simple pleasures escape those of us who are overweight, for a woman it is some of the "girlie" things that others take great pleasure in doing. I have endless examples of this but I will only share one for purposes of contrast before I share my recent joyful experience.
So many years ago when I was at my heaviest a close friend of mine was getting married and she asked me to be a part of her wedding. First of all I was grateful to be asked because I know some people would not want a overweight person in their wedding party, sounds shallow you say, it happens. So at many stages there were things we needed to adjust or accommodate because of my size and were to be expected, like the dress. However something no one thought of, including myself because I had never been in this situation before, was the process of getting our nails done. What you ask? Yes... getting our Mani & Pedi's. So getting my manicure was not too big of a deal although there was a moment of panic when I saw the chair..."Will it hold me?" , but it did. So I made it thru the first stage but then came time for the pedicure. Now ladies you know those big chairs with the tub attached, get that image in your mind and them imagine a obese woman trying to gracefully get up in the chair without embarrassing herself let alone she may not fit in the chair comfortably. When it was my turn to get in the chair I literally just looked at it and looked around trying to figure out how I was going to make this work. Needless to say it was very awkward and by time I got in and then got out I had totally ruined my manicure because I was struggling getting in and out. Then I was so embarrassed that I struggled so much and ruined my fingernails that I did not want to say anything to get them fixed, so I left with completely messed up nails. I ended up having to do them over myself. Yes! Manicures and Pedicures can be a nightmare when you do not move well and have to climb into a chair that is too small. These are things I think many people take for granted. Along with that I don't know anyone can really understand the emotional pain of such situations unless you experience it.
In contrast to that is how far I have come in my process and as such I want to share a Joyful experience that I recently had that most have in their childhood but I had for the first time at 54 years old.
A couple weekends ago my dear friend of 35 years came to stay the night and visit with me. She has recently introduced me to this crazy addiction call Lula Roe. Many of you will understand what I am talking about, anyway it is a clothing line , with many fun styles. I have never really been able to be interested or involved with anything related to fashion and clothes because I simply had to get what I could find. At one point I had gotten so large I had to order all my clothes online, I had gotten to large for the plus size stores. I share that only to add to the level of excitement and understanding for what I am going to share about my friends visit.So I mention the clothing line for a couple reasons, first reason is because for the first time I can actually get clothes from a current fashion trend. Yup they make sizes that are larger but I also have gotten smaller.
It has been fun to be able to participate in this fashion trend with my friends because I have never been able to do that before, this is new. So the second reason I mention this is because my friend who was coming to visit me came with gifts! She had brought me some clothes from this fashion line. I was not at all surprised by my friends generosity, she is always giving. I was however surprised and excited that the gift was clothing! I am so excited because it has been at least 25 years (probably longer) since anyone has been able to buy my clothes. You are not gifted clothing when you are obese. So it was very exciting. NOW..... that all sounds great right? It was. It was amazing! What was even more exciting and unexpected was the fashion theme continued as we went out to grab a bite to eat and while out we stopped by a clothing store and had fun looking around and finding a few great deals, but then to my surprise we found a shirt that we both loved and actually came in sizes that worked for both of us! WHAT??? Of course she bought a size that was bigger than her normal size but she wanted it to be a little oversized for how she was going to wear it. Regardless I could not believe after 35 years of friendship we were buying our first matching shirt! I was so excited. I know it may sound silly to you but if you have never been able to share something like that with someone you have no idea how fun and bonding it can be.
All this fashion talk and clothing lead to another experience I have never had in my life and I swear I felt like a teenager, all giggly and girlie. We took pictures of us in our matching shirts! We wondered all around the house trying all sorts of things, being silly and laughing it was just a totally different experience for me. Not the laughing and giggling, we do tons of that, the taking pictures with your BFF in matching shirts!
Then just when I couldn't imagine another new experience, the next day since I had these new clothes my friend decided I needed to have a photo shoot (I needed picture for contest with the Lula Roe, ask I will tell you more about it) Anyway she did my hair and my make up and then we did multiple photos in multiple outfits. We did some inside and outside , styling the clothes. It was so fun and just pure joy. We did this for a few hours, time flew...
Towards the end of it all I realized I had never really had a experience like this with someone taking photos of me and me feeling so good in my clothes and so confident and not even one once apprehensive. We just laughed and were creative and had so much fun. To have this experience with my friend of 35 years and being 54 years old, I just realized how many things I still have to experience with my new life and health. I also realized how great it was to have new experiences with someone after 35 years of friendship. I can never fully express my appreciation and love for my BFF who gifted me clothes and another great "first" experience. It was amazing to feel girlie, cute and silly, while being care free , in the moment and so filled with JOY!
So I want to encourage those of you on a health journey of your own, keep it up. There are so many things that you may have missed out on in life but it is never too late to experience them. I look forward to so many new experiences, I can't wait.
Those of you with overweight friends and family members, please be sensitive and do not assume we are ok with all the situations we end up in, we often just keep quiet.... It seems easier. I also would encourage you to remember how many things we have never done because of our size, so we may not be turning you down because we don't want to go or do something we may just be afraid of the unknown and embarrassing ourselves or worse getting hurt.
Thanks for listening and BFF, Thanks again for being so awesome! Your generosity and love are always such a joy to experience. I Love you!
