Pre-entry thoughts: I am terrified to be here again but mostly because I am going to share in places I have never shared this blog before, opening myself up for rejection, and criticism, so please either be kind or just move on , trust me I can bully myself better than anyone, I don't need any help! Thanks and I hope you enjoy.

HELLO!!

It has obviously been far too long since I have written anything here. I wish I had remembered that blogging for me is a form of accountability. Let me start off by Thanking you for being here, IF you are reading this please let me know you are here, ask questions, share your story, challenge me …. ANY and ALL of it is Welcomed! It is having your compassionate eyes on me that allows me to grow and become the best version of myself. Without others and accountability I am left to my own unchecked opinions, habits and thoughts , and we all know that isn't healthy! So, THANK YOU!

O.K. The last couple years.... OY VEY!!! Am I Right?!?!

Let's do quick catch up and summary before I get to today's mood!

Last entry October 2019, I finally had hit a stride after the hip replacement and physical therapy, was back on track at the gym 4 days a week and was feeling great.

Fast forward 6 months...... COVID hits, Gym Closes!

No Gym for approximately a year .This was a major set back for me as I love working out in the water, it is home for me. I have not found anything that I enjoy or that makes me feel as good as being in the water, so the gym closing was a hard hit.

In that year I do a lot of “Should-ing” on myself (people please do not “Should” on yourselves) this never motivates me and well, long story short I do nothing , OH! except sign up for online workout app.

During that year I also start slacking with my eating. I am not over eating, (Thank You tiny tummy,) but I am slowly adding “crap” back into my food options. Between not exercising and poor food choices I

can feel the clothes getting tighter, I know I am gaining weight and not feeling my best. (Remember for me it is about health not a number on a scale, so my clothes are how I know I put on weight).

After about a year the gym reopens and I think to myself THANK GOODNESS! I was beginning to get worried and scared for myself, I need exercise as much as air and water. It not only is good for my body but also my mind, and gaining weight and the state of the world was affecting my mental health as much if not more than my physical health.

A few short months later the Gym closes again!! Noooooooooooooooooo !!

This time I think, I can do this! I have this online workout I can do AND I will reach out to my favorite Physical therapy group and see if I can use their therapy pool to get some workouts in.

Needless to say I did not use the online program ,but maybe once, however I did reach out to the P.T. Group and was able to use their pool. Using the therapy pool wasn't working out scheduling wise and it wasn't cost effective for me , so I stopped that after a few months, but I did do it a few times for several weeks before stopping. It was enough to remind me how crucial it is to my overall well being and yet I did not pick up the online program to replace my lack of exercise, so the downward spiral starts again. No exercise and bad food choices.

So.... Pandemic terrorizing the world, no exercise, poor food choices, isolation , strange working conditions, Oh and Northern California going up in flames, AGAIN, so brown skies and poor air quality for multiple weeks (that part still going on FYI). Then....

A few months ago the Gym Re-reopened and I was able to get back in there. I am glad to say I am close to averaging 4 days a week again. Some weeks are better than others. I also am working at getting back to better food choices. I am moving forward , YAY..... Then today comes!

This morning I had a appointment with my hip Doctor and like all Doctor appointments the first thing they do is what????????? YUP they weigh you! Not having been on a scale in nearly two years I knew it might be hard to see because I knew I had put on weight, but I am strong and can do this!

It is amazing how YEARS of hard work can all vanish in literally a couple seconds. I knew I had gained some weight over the last couple years but seeing a actual number for some reason just took me down hard and fast. I actually wanted to cry in that moment. BUT THEN I remembered how far I had come and that I am capable of doing it again because I had done it before! I also reminded myself this is a minor set back in the overall big picture.

On the drive home, while processing all that I just heard and experienced, I remembered that something else I had let go of during the past couple years was this blog. This blog has been a accountability tool for me over the years and a inspiration. I hear others stories because of it, receive and give encouragement because of it too. SO that is why I am writing today.

If you are new to my blog, I am glad you are here. I encourage you to look for other entries that might be helpful to you. I would appreciate a quick comment to know you are here, if you do it on the blog you don't have to have a account you can do it as guest but then please leave your name in the body of the comment.

If you are not new and are familiar with my journey, Thanks for returning. PLEASE let me know how you are doing, if you have questions, thoughts, suggestions, let me know.

Thanks for being a part of my journey

NEVER GIVE UP!