Regardless I have recently been reminded to always remain humble because before you know it , just as you start to feel a little prideful, something happens to knock you back down and remind you that like everyone else you are human and fallible. Finding that balance of confidence and humility is tricky at times as I recently was reminded.
So lately it seemed I had been receiving a lot of compliments. I lot of people noticing and commenting on my weight loss and how far I have come yada yada yada.....
I am always a little surprised at first when I get a compliment because I am always in the "struggle" or on the "journey" so I am not focused on that from which I came, but more where I am headed. So the comments are always reminders of how far I have come and I always appreciate the feedback and compliments. However there has been a couple times when I get several compliments in a row or several in a short amount of time and I start to a little ego boost, which is a good thing until you cross that ever so thin line..... to plain old egotistical and cocky (not to be confused with Kocky, some of you will get that!)
So this last week I had a very brief moment where I crossed that damn line. I was feeling great, looking good, strutting around like I was all that, OK that might be exaggerating a little but in my mind I was feeling that cocky confidence. Well I went to Physical therapy and while I did struggle, I was very proud of myself because I was pushed / challenged and I met the challenge.
Now for purposes of this Blog entry I am going to tell you all what happened but please keep in mind this is very revealing and a little embarrassing but it is part of the process and one of those things people don't like to talk about or admit so I am going to go there! (Be gentle with me!) LOL So during my Physical therapy appointment we were discussing things I could do to help with lower back pain due to my bum hip and over compensating and such. Well my physical therapist was describing something to me and then asked me if I wanted to get on the floor and try it. OKAY... let me first explain the physical therapy is done in a open room much like a gym where there are several tables and machines that many people are using all at the same time, SO... she is asking me to get on the floor in a room full of people. I look at her like she just asked for my right arm and said "UMmmmmm NO!" and gave her a little look of disbelief that she would ask such a crazy thing. Once she realized my obvious discomfort she very kindly and politely asked me if I would try in the room with the door shut.
Based on my trust in her I said yes....
Now I understand some of you are thinking this is insane and you have no idea what a huge deal this is for me because you can easily get up and down off the floor. Well for the record and some perspective, I honestly can not even remember the last time I got down on the floor. I actually avoid the floor because my fear is I couldn't get up, at least not without help. (Those of you who can, never underestimate the little things in life) I not only avoid the floor but I avoid furniture that is low to the ground too. These are some of the things that I have to think about because of my weight / size.
Anyway, so I went with her to the room and clumsily found my way down to the floor. She showed me some exercises using a roller and I was able to do them and I actually liked them and saw how they would be helpful, but then the realization set in that I had to get up off the floor and I had no idea how I was going to do that. So the time came to get up and I moved over close to the therapy table and sort of awkwardly rolled over to my knees and braced myself on the table and used my upper body strength to pull myself up.... It was not pretty at all. Thank Gawd my physical therapist is a kind and gentle woman. I did it! I got down and I got back up!
Am I ready to do it again... Hell No! Not for a while at least.
So the whole experience was humbling and reminded me that while I have come so far I still have so much more to go. I was encouraged by my own tenacity but I was humbled my my limitations too. What added to my humbling was the fact that a few days later I noticed my shins were hurting and all bruised up and at first I couldn't figure it out, until it then dawned on me.... My legs were bruised from me getting down n the floor and back up again. DAMN! My poor body! What have I done to it?! So the entire experience was humbling and also encouraging at the same time. While I believe with all my heart and mind that we have to be positive and believe in ourselves and the encouragement is crucial to our success, I also believe we have to remain humble and never grow complacent .... Life is work, Life is a constant challenge, Life is a beautiful journey.
Thanks for listen and letting me share a little of mine with you.
