I received an email recently, from a world traveling friend of mine, who posed an interesting question. Below is her email, I will follow it with some thoughts.
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"So...let me just start by saying that we don't get many TV stations in English. The shows we do get seem to change every month or two, just as we are getting interested in them. The last couple of days, we've been getting something called The World's Biggest Loser or something like that. Anyway, these people had been at their fat camp for 7 weeks and lost incredible amounts of weight: 30-70 pounds. Now, they were being given a week back at home. Each one walked into their house where a big homecoming party of family and friends were waiting to celebrate their amazing weight loss with them. Incredibly, at most every party people had brought boxes of cinnamon rolls, chocolate cupcakes, and the like. One of the guys complained and asked the crowd who had brought some sweets. His mother. She said, "Not all of us are on a diet!" even though the party was for him. Makes one realize how difficult it is going to be for those people to continue losing or maintaining their weight when they go home with their near and dear sabotaging them. Do you feel like you've had to deal with people sabotaging your efforts? "
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Here is Webster’s definition for Sabotage.
“Sabotage = an act or process tending to hamper or hurt / deliberate subversion “
So as I thought about this question several things came to mind… first was “how sad for that man on the TV show my friend was watching“, but often people in our lives struggle with others succeeding as if "My success equals your failure".
I must say according to “Webster’s” definition, I absolutely do not think anyone in my life has “deliberately” set out to sabotage me. That being said, the things we do subconsciously is completely another story. NO one in my life has been disrespectful, like the man's mother in the above story, but there are definitely varying degrees of "awareness" (for lack of a better word) about my process / journey. I do not believe anyone can "Sabotage" me besides myself. Ultimately I am the only saboteur in my life. I am the one who is aware of whom to go to if I want to "cheat" or "act out". I also know who to go to if I want support and encouragement to stay on track. Therefore I am the only person capable of sabotaging myself.
While others may subconsciously be working out issues of their own by tempting me, or ignoring my plea for accountability towards healthy choices, it is up to me not to sabotage myself and my process.
There are definitely people in my life, who by the nature of who they are, still want to “nurture” me with food. There are also people in my life that choose, consciously or not, to ignore that I have drastically changed my lifestyle. Some who are aware of the change but willing to participate in my bad choices. Some who struggle somewhere in-between as well. However I am the only true saboteur, as the choices I make are up to me.
I feel like the story of the man coming home from his “biggest loser” experience and having his mother tell him “Not all of us are on a diet” , really is about respect more then anything. Her behavior as well as that of those bringing unhealthy food to the party, is just out right disrespectful. However again, it is doubtful any of it is about him and more about their own process and shows their inability to be aware consciously of the impact and affect of their behavior on others.
No one has been blatantly disrespectful. For the most part people have been very supportive, encouraging and helpful along my journey. It is I that does the sabotaging. It is I that has to make the choices to go where the support is when I need it. I got myself to that unhealthy place and I have to get myself out and into a healthy one. I am grateful I do have places and people I can go for support and encouragement. My struggle is more about going there, accessing it, and allowing others to be supportive. It is hard not to feel alone at times during this sojourn, yet I am conscious I have to be open and reach out for support. Just as I can choose to self sabotage I can choose support.
All that being said …… Please do not assume anything. If you read this and start wondering where you fall in the spectrum of “places to go for particular outcomes”, support or acting out………….. Do not assume….. Feel free to ask me.
Bottom line, I am the only saboteur in my life. Know that I truly welcome the “smack down” (accountability) from anyone observing my self sabotage. Sometimes I am conscious of it and other times I am not. If I am consciously sabotaging myself I will tell you and if I am …….please do not give up on me, continue to bring it to my awareness so I don’t do it too long! J
It is hard to always stay conscious of my choices, but I am clear no one can sabotage me but myself….. I am often good at it too!
It is a portentous journey I am on. I’m confident it will take time and energy……. physical, emotional and spiritual.
Thanks for the questions and support. Please continue to inquire about anything coming to your mind, as writing about this is helpful to me and hopefully encouraging to others as well.
Smile, Sing and Laugh Daily!
Kathryn
I received an email recently, from a world traveling friend of mine, who posed an interesting question. Below is her email, I will follow it with some thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So...let me just start by saying that we don't get many TV stations in English. The shows we do get seem to change every month or two, just as we are getting interested in them. The last couple of days, we've been getting something called The World's Biggest Loser or something like that. Anyway, these people had been at their fat camp for 7 weeks and lost incredible amounts of weight: 30-70 pounds. Now, they were being given a week back at home. Each one walked into their house where a big homecoming party of family and friends were waiting to celebrate their amazing weight loss with them. Incredibly, at most every party people had brought boxes of cinnamon rolls, chocolate cupcakes, and the like. One of the guys complained and asked the crowd who had brought some sweets. His mother. She said, "Not all of us are on a diet!" even though the party was for him. Makes one realize how difficult it is going to be for those people to continue losing or maintaining their weight when they go home with their near and dear sabotaging them. Do you feel like you've had to deal with people sabotaging your efforts? "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is Webster’s definition for Sabotage.
“Sabotage = an act or process tending to hamper or hurt / deliberate subversion “
So as I thought about this question several things came to mind… first was “how sad for that man on the TV show my friend was watching“, but often people in our lives struggle with others succeeding as if "My success equals your failure".
I must say according to “Webster’s” definition, I absolutely do not think anyone in my life has “deliberately” set out to sabotage me. That being said, the things we do subconsciously is completely another story. NO one in my life has been disrespectful, like the man's mother in the above story, but there are definitely varying degrees of "awareness" (for lack of a better word) about my process / journey. I do not believe anyone can "Sabotage" me besides myself. Ultimately I am the only saboteur in my life. I am the one who is aware of whom to go to if I want to "cheat" or "act out". I also know who to go to if I want support and encouragement to stay on track. Therefore I am the only person capable of sabotaging myself.
While others may subconsciously be working out issues of their own by tempting me, or ignoring my plea for accountability towards healthy choices, it is up to me not to sabotage myself and my process.
There are definitely people in my life, who by the nature of who they are, still want to “nurture” me with food. There are also people in my life that choose, consciously or not, to ignore that I have drastically changed my lifestyle. Some who are aware of the change but willing to participate in my bad choices. Some who struggle somewhere in-between as well. However I am the only true saboteur, as the choices I make are up to me.
I feel like the story of the man coming home from his “biggest loser” experience and having his mother tell him “Not all of us are on a diet” , really is about respect more then anything. Her behavior as well as that of those bringing unhealthy food to the party, is just out right disrespectful. However again, it is doubtful any of it is about him and more about their own process and shows their inability to be aware consciously of the impact and affect of their behavior on others.
No one has been blatantly disrespectful. For the most part people have been very supportive, encouraging and helpful along my journey. It is I that does the sabotaging. It is I that has to make the choices to go where the support is when I need it. I got myself to that unhealthy place and I have to get myself out and into a healthy one. I am grateful I do have places and people I can go for support and encouragement. My struggle is more about going there, accessing it, and allowing others to be supportive. It is hard not to feel alone at times during this sojourn, yet I am conscious I have to be open and reach out for support. Just as I can choose to self sabotage I can choose support.
All that being said …… Please do not assume anything. If you read this and start wondering where you fall in the spectrum of “places to go for particular outcomes”, support or acting out………….. Do not assume….. Feel free to ask me.
Bottom line, I am the only saboteur in my life. Know that I truly welcome the “smack down” (accountability) from anyone observing my self sabotage. Sometimes I am conscious of it and other times I am not. If I am consciously sabotaging myself I will tell you and if I am …….please do not give up on me, continue to bring it to my awareness so I don’t do it too long! J
It is hard to always stay conscious of my choices, but I am clear no one can sabotage me but myself….. I am often good at it too!
It is a portentous journey I am on. I’m confident it will take time and energy……. physical, emotional and spiritual.
Thanks for the questions and support. Please continue to inquire about anything coming to your mind, as writing about this is helpful to me and hopefully encouraging to others as well. 
Smile, Sing and Laugh Daily!
Kathryn