Memorable Moments & First

So almost every week something happens or comes up that I either have never done before or have not done (been able to do ) in many many years.......... So I thought I would share some memorable moments and first. Many of these are things most of you will not have ever even thought about, however for me it is a big deal. So never take anything for granted, not even the small stuff, but especially your health and well being. I am sure I will not get these things in any sort of order because I will just talk about them as they come to mind.... I am also sure you will be surprised but at least one thing that you read and hopefully you may realize as a culture we do in deed tend to take many things for granted. Anyway......... So lets see.... Oh, here is one for the ladies.... My First "Pretty Bra"! So.... I have never owned a real pretty bra. I have always had the super sized "sports bra" , you know the ones that most women wear to work out in but for me it was the only kind I cold buy that would fit me. I won't go into anymore details about Bras and size but after having lost a bunch of weight my girlfriend took me to Sacramento and we went Bra shopping. I was trying on some really nice ones only to be discouraged.......... But then a saleswoman told us to get a Bra extender... (guys this is a little 3 inch or so piece that makes your bra bigger) So to get these pretty bras to actually fit I ended up having to buy some extenders(actually had to have two in order to wear the bras) .... It was o.k. because I was going to have beautiful Bras for the first time! So that was an exciting first..... Then in the months to follow some more memorable moments would come regarding the Bras.... Removing one of the two extenders, good day! Then a while later removing the last extender was a Great day! I was wearing these beautiful Bras with no extenders..... Interesting how something that seems so small to most can actually make me feel more normal! I was so proud I actually had to be careful and remember not everyone wants to see my pretty bras and it is not really a good idea to go around showing everyone! I couldn't help it I love my new Bras! Oh here is a good one.... I was visiting a friend and for whatever reason I had bent over to tie my shoe or pull up a sock and she surprisingly says to me something to the effect of "Hey.... You touched your toes!" We chuckled and she went on to say she did not think she could ever remember seeing me bend over like that let alone be able to reach my feet. HUH... Something I had not thought about but she was right. There was a very long period of time I was not even sure I had feet! It always took some special or creative "finagling" to get socks and shoes on, no more! :-) Of course there was the first time my weight was down enough I actually could register a number on the scale! Yep, at one point I was so heavy the scale did not go high enough to register a number... and yes this is a Doctors office scale not a small home version. So that was a good day. Being called "little" or "the incredible shrinking woman", those were memorable first. Being told my clothes are too big..... (that never gets old! ) Having to take clothes in because they are too big is much more fun then having to have clothes made special for you because you can't buy clothes at the any store ( including the "big" girl clothes store) One of my favorite moments was being able to tell someone who had asked me if I had the surgery (gastric bypass) that no I was losing weight under Doctors supervision, healthy eating and exercise. No I Did Not have "The Surgery"! That is always great to say, especially gratifying since a dozen or so people I know have done the surgery, some with success some not. Also because that first Nurse practitioner I saw about my weight had told me I would have to do the surgery to be successful and get healthy.... Well No I wouldn't.... Side note... Not only am I losing weight my Blood pressure is Perfect! A lot of memorable moments happen and it isn't until later I realize something has changed..... Forgive me if this is too much information but.... I recently realized I am no longer bracing myself, out of fear of falling and need for leverage, when stepping in and out of the shower. Again I know that seems odd but for years I was always extra careful doing things like that because if I fall... it would be bad. Good news... This too has changed, I think I feel more stable and strong so I do not give it a second thought. So as you can see there are things most people take for grated but really are little blessings..... Fear of this kind of stuff can paralyze some people. Now while I never really got to that level of fear these things were on my mind............. Just like thoughts about going places and being able to be comfortable.... "Will the restaurant have a chair I can sit in?' , "Will my friend have a sofa I can get up and down from with ease?" these are things a obese person has to take into consideration and those around them often are not aware of. Anyway.... the memorable moments and first will continue I am sure and there are many more but I think this is enough for now... Hopefully I haven't offended anyone with my shower and bra talk but these are things that are all a part of my journey! Until next time.... (yes, I will probably show you my bra if you ask! LOL)

PHASE 5

So ........Am I ready to face the gym on my own? I was feeling "semi-comfortable" but it certainly is easier with a buddy. We had been there enough that the teachers and regular class members recognized us and were of course kind and welcoming, so maybe it would be o.k............... So I decided I really had to stick with it, I mean what is the alternative? I had come this far and realized I could really never go back so I had to get over myself and just do it! So I did. I continued to go to Aqua class and slowly became a part of the "regulars" group. I began to get to know the people and fairly quickly I was no longer hesitant about going to the gym by myself. So I was going a couple times a week but as I grew more comfortable I was going three times a week. I was developing relationships with the instructors as I had lots of questions and wanted to tap into all the resources available. (and it made sense to me instructors would have information!) So I asked my questions and learned some of the finer details about Aqua and exercise in general and I was feeling motivated and informed. SO I found myself looking at my work schedule and trying to figure out how I could get to these classes more often and without being 10 to 15 minutes late. It really was becoming a priority for me and I didn't even know it. So my next step was to change my work schedule because up to this point I was getting to class a little late since I did not get off work until 5:30 and that was when the class started. I changed my schedule and now was able to make it to class on time and actually early enough that I became a part of the "prep gang". These were the regulars who got to class early and helped to get things ready for class, you know taking down the lane dividers, pulling out the equipment , doing whatever needed to be done. Slowly without me even knowing it I was becoming a part of this strange little family that exist at the Aqua class. Now granted most of the people in this "family" can be my Grandparents or at the least my Parents so I certainly am not going out on the town with them but they are a great group of people who truly care about each other and now they care about me. I have developed some great friendships with the instructors as well............... and for the record....they are people I occasionally go out on the town with! :-) As I implemented these changes, was growing and stretching in so many ways, something interesting happened.... I was now going to class 5 times a week. Yes, I said 5 times a week. I realized that a friend of mine had predicted early on in my exercise journey that exercise would becoming a part of who I was and not something I needed or should do......and it did! It just is a part of who I am, I work out! Who would have known? Me , working out, going to the gym alone, 5 times (sometimes more) a week? I was so relieved when I realize it had happened because as I remembered my friend telling me that it would I also remembered I had strong doubts! I am so glad I was wrong.

Support part 2

So ..... Let's see if I can tackle support again or maybe for the first time a little more directly :-)
There are so many ways I have seen and felt some great support throughout this journey... Honestly it started with someone giving me a business card and some great words of encouragement about their experience with this Doctor. Now while I held that card for a REALLY long time before I did anything with it , that was one of those catalyst to the change. So Thanks for the business card and encouragement.

Workout buddies...... I am Positive I would never had joined a gym or started working out by myself so my buddies who not only joined with me but showed up regularly and encouraged me when I did not want to go.........were definitely, undeniably supportive. The accountability of knowing someone was waiting for me and committed to meeting me was incentive and encouraging. Those of you who know me ........ you know the whole gym step was HUGE...... So Thanks workout buddies! :-) Would never have done so well had I not started working out!

Let's see ... The Trainer..... the trainer who was so supportive, honest, direct , but always encouraging.... He still trains at my gym and always has a kind word of support. His belief in me really was something I welcomed as most people like this gentleman rarely gave me the time of day let alone a smile and kind words..... He offered not only excellent workouts, he really pushed me to work my hardest and not make excuses, he had a sort of belief in me and my abilities that even  I didn't in the beginning...... That was truly life changing for me as well........Thanks Sergent!

So another "moment" that I have always remembered and appreciated was when a friend and I were talking about the whole gym thing and commitment verses desire etc...... And I asked how he managed to be so totally faithful to his workouts, because it wasn't like he was one of those "obsessed gym rats" he just was committed to going 5 to 7 days a week. He told me he really did not think about it, It was just a part of who he was. Wow that was an interesting way to think about it.... It is not something I "have " to do , or something I "should" do .... It is something I do. I liked that and wondered if I would ever get there...at the point we had the conversation I was still having to make an effort, a conscience choice to go to the gym... I did it but a lot of thought went into it...... SO ...... He assured me if I stuck with it before I even realized it one day it would happen to me as well.... I am happy to report.... It did....
I really do not even think about it anymore.... It is a part of who I am and what I do .... It just is... 4 to 7 times a week I am at the gym.
This same person has been a constant support and encouragement in all areas of this journey. He truly has been one of the few not afraid to ask the tough questions and hold me accountable. I have to say this kind of support has been priceless, not sure what I would do without it. I am forever grateful not only for all the support, but the excellent  modeling of honest accountability coupled with love and support which has also allowed me to see just how much power that has............I only hope I can be half as supportive and encouraging to others, as well as in return to him. Thanks :-)

Which leads me to a thought in general about support............
Accountability.......... I think we often , o.k. I often...... shy away from this just because, let's be honest we don't want people telling us what to do or even knowing our business..... Well for me accountability has made this process keep moving forward. I have really felt support through the accountability. I appreciate people asking if I am still going to the gym or how the diet is going ... It keeps me honest. Accountability can be and has been for me a great amazing life changer... I don't know about anyone else but I do not ever want to become so comfortable or complacent that I am not growing... and accountability certainly does not leave room for that to happen.
That being said please know I am o.k. with questions, concerns, challenges and all forms of accountability..... bring it on... it shows love and concern.

Anyway.. enough rambling on about ..... Obviously I could go on and on about it....

I also appreciate the support I have received from some friends at work... the encouragement, kind words, pats on the back, compliments about the changes they see.... all of it.... It helps.... No one wants to take on something of this magnitude alone.... Like any challenge we face it is not easy so support is essential.

Support comes in so many forms and I have a long list of people who I want to Thank.... I know you all know who you are and I hope you know I am forever grateful for your contribution to my change and growth......... I will stop here as I tend to go on and on.... Best leave some for another time....
THANKS again....... I am ever changing and growing thanks to so many of you!
Until next time............. :-)

Support

HI! Sorry first of all for the big gap in time between entries. Let me start by saying please be patient with me as I am not a writer so I may jump around a bit.... That being said I have been thinking about "Support" so many levels to this I want to cover.... I will try to have some sense of order to this.... Well when I first started this new way of thinking and looking at myself one of the things I immediately thought when I saw "the picture", which threw me into this journey, was "Why hasn't anyone said something to me?". I had to really give this some thought since I was trying to look at why and how I got where I was. Something I realized was I had subconsciously made it clear to those around me that I was "fine" and I was "comfortable" with who I was. While this was true to some degree I obviously had put up some invisible walls which told my friends "Don't go there, I am fine". I had always made little jokes about my size and really did not let it stop my life so I am sure to those around me it seemed I was aware and making my choice. I completely own this fact that I did not make it easy for anyone to question me and my health or discuss my weight , however in retrospect I wish I had not done that and I wish someone would have slapped me.

Phase 4

O.K. So off to the gym we go......... So in the beginning we went a couple times a week, we tried different days so we could try all the different instructors. It was interesting how different the classes were depending on who was teaching. I mean the basic moves are the same but as far as energy, music and overall intensity of the workout really varied from instructor to instructor. There also was a very obvious "culture" within these classes among the people in the class. So we went a couple times a week trying to figure out the moves, trying to figure out where and how we fit into this group.

Phase 3

So.......... Now I am mad and again disillusioned by the medical field and its lack of support for individuals. So I continue talking to a few people about this frustration and what the next step will be. As I was talking to my wonderful sister in law , REM (aka; Robin) she too was thinking maybe it was time for a gym...........

Phase 2

So......... It was about the same time I was interviewing for a new potential job that I started reading Dr. Phil’s book on weight & Health, now stop rolling your eyes..... It was actually the first thing I had seen where the focus was on behavior and attitude and not just the classic diet and exercise.

Pictures

O.K. So here is a picture that is close to where I was when I started this journey. I am still looking for more but , you get the idea. I don't have any recent photos for comparison but I will look.

Anyway wanted to get this on here before I forget and write some more. I believe this is about 7 or 8 years ago. I guess Erin would know the exact date..........

The one below is me a few months ago, not too clear as it is from a phone but it is the most recent one I have so far and I think you can see a difference even if it is dark.

Where to start?

So............. I thought since this has been such a interesting long journey and many of you have no idea I have even been on it, I will write about it. Especially since it has been a major focus of my life for several years now.