Advocacy

SO......... Why is it that although we KNOW, in our logical minds, that it's important to advocate for ourselves we often fail to do so? Yes, it is nice to have others watch out for us , however.............. ultimately we know our own well being, whether it is physical, emotional , or even intellectual, is no one else's responsibility but our own. So why do we spend so little time looking out for ourselves? So little energy asking if this is really in our best interest? Instead we seem to be more concerned about everyone else... even those we may not know or hardly know..... We may be afraid to change hair dressers because we don't want to hurt "their" feelings, (just an example, I LOVE you Teresa :-) ) or more seriously, fail to ask questions of a sales person OR question our Doctors, Lawyers, Professors and other professionals we have contact with...... I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I have been noticing some interesting behaviors of my own. While my focus has been, for several years now, me, me, me ! I still do not always do what is in my best interest. I still do not advocate for myself when I should. This is silly and somewhat crazy to me as I know better, yet I still do it. Hmmm? I have found the majority of us seem to do this... It is as if it is innate to deny ourselves what we clearly know is rightfully ours. So where is she going with this? How does this relate to weight? Well it seems all connected to me ....... When I allow others to negatively impact me I am making a choice to neglect myself. I seem to act this out in several ways..... for example I realize I myself am not a "stressful" person.... however I really am affected by the stress of others. I have to make a conscience choice to not let the external stresses in life impact me or that is when I find myself slipping into old, bad habits..... (can you say Ben & Jerry's?), or my body reacts negatively (currently have a pinched nerve). If I don't take care of my self, advocate for my own well being, who will do it? No one! So ........ saying No to people, standing up for something you believe in, simply asking questions of those professionals we pay to give us their time and attention, or taking some time alone without feeling guilty ...... We have to choose to care for ourselves and realize this does not mean we are selfish but rather simply practicing good healthy self care. (BIG Difference) So as I have gotten much better at taking care of myself along this journey, I see there is (of course) still plenty to learn and grow from. I am constantly surprised to see where these things pop up and how these lessons continue to push and stretch me. So today I made myself write down the questions I had for my chiropractor. Questions I had before but didn't ask as I obviously did not want to take up too much of her time ( I know silly right?). I had to force myself to pull out the paper and ask the questions (advocating for myself)....... I did it!!!! Well of course she was not only gracious and more then happy to answer all my questions. She was pleased I asked them. She told me I had excellent questions. She not only answered them but went on to praise me for how well I was doing in taking care of myself! (Man that was nice to hear seeing as how I really have not been feeling like I was doing that at all!) She even commented on how much my hard work has and will continue to pay off in my long term health. At one point she let out a "sort of" giggle of glee (very cute), out of excitement and mere joy for me! It was nice and very exciting to see this professional, whom I respect, acknowledge and give me such kind accolades. WOW.... If I get this kind of reaction every time I advocate for myself I will be asking questions, demanding time, and sticking up for myself more often! I know this sounds a little silly but I have found it so interesting how many of us seem to advocate, care and tend to others with such ease, but when it comes to ourselves we struggle. I am constantly amazed at how hard it is for information to travel the mere 12 inches from our head to our heart. We know this stuff but believing, feeling and acting on some of it is much harder. So...... I continue along my sojourn and work at making the "12 inch" journey a little smoother. (and quicker .... hopefully)