So the journey continues. So I am just 2 weeks out from completing the physical therapy post hip replacement. Hip is feeling really good. Muscles are slow to remember they can and do work, but I am getting there. I have realized that the hardest part of this work is getting the mind and body to work together. Getting my mind to understand that even though it has been so long, if ever, that I have been able to use my hip without any hesitation or precautions, it now is stronger than ever, dare I say Bionic! LOL. I find myself compensating in ways I always have for my body and it’s limitations but now I do not have to, but I have to train my mind to KNOW it is capable. I remind myself daily I have a hunk of metal in my body so I can handle these stairs or my leg can handle putting my whole weight on it and I do not have to baby it. Simple life things that I have adjusted to and that others take for granted I am now having to re-learn or retrain my mind to get me to do things AND for that I am excited!
What I love the most is when I catch myself doing something I haven’t done in a while, due to limitations, and I realize I did it without thinking or worrying. I had an especially exciting moment this past weekend when I realized that for a few weeks now I have found myself looking for things to do outside of my house. Looking for errands to do after work. Looking for places to go and chores to get done. This may sound like a normal occurrence for you, but let me explain why this was such a huge moment for me.
For my entire life I have spent every day trying to figure out how to make it through the day with the least amount of pain both physically and emotionally. Physically I wander the parking lots looking for the closest spot so I don’t have to walk far. Or I avoid going out because I do not know what the environment will be like, how many people, seating etc.
Emotionally, who will be there? Can I blend into the background? Will I stand out? Will there be “haters”? Fat prejudice is alive and well so when you are obese you think about these things.
As I lost weight some of these things changed slightly, and then I started having Hip issues and they came back and some even got worse. So when I realized this weekend that I was not doing some of these things it made me realize my patterns are changing. My weight has gone down and thus I think of these things less and less AND my hip pain has diminished to the point I am not trying to avoid things and I am not trying to stay home in my safe little world. My world is opening up more and more each day. This is exciting beyond words, it is literally like a new beginning, a fresh start!
I still have a ways to go but I am so much farther than I realized and to see that my thought processes are changing makes me excited. I’m not spending so much time thinking about my pain and that frees my mind up to spend more time thinking about the Joy and excitement of my future.
Speaking of future… I will be heading back to the pool for my beloved Aqua Aerobics soon and I cannot wait to be back in the pool splashing and singing along with the music! I love being a Mermaid! 
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